You Said Yes, Now When Should You Buy Your Dress?

Brides are often surprised to hear that they should start wedding dress shopping soon after they get engaged. So, if you’re wondering when you should start looking, when to commit, and how long you need for alterations, here is the scoop!

9 - 18 Months Out

This is when we recommend starting your dress search. Why so early?

Photo: Kelsey Prater Photography

Photo: Kelsey Prater Photography

1. Wedding dress collections come out once or twice per year, depending on the designer. As new collections are introduced, previously released dresses are discontinued. A gown you love now may not be available later. Additionally, Loveliest only sells a handful of the same style dress so as not to inundate the market with a similar look, so you risk that particular style no longer being available in store for try on if you wait. We choose to do this as one more level of service that sets us apart from other stores. We want you to feel special in your dress, and not see it on countless other brides in the area.

2. Your dress can set the tone for so many other elements of your wedding, including your bridesmaid dresses, decor, shoes, jewelry, etc. There are so many little details to plan in your wedding, that it is nice to check this big one off your list.

3. Last, but certainly not least, wedding dress shopping is FUN, so why wait?

6 - 8 Months Out

This is generally the final cut off for ordering your wedding dress if you do not want to pay any rush fees. If you plan to customize your dress at all, a rush may not be available. If you have 6 months or less, you may want to consider an off-the-rack option, which luckily comprises half of our selection!

4 Months Out

This is the time to contact your seamstress. While you typically do not start your alterations until closer to your wedding, bridal seamstresses are skilled at what they do and book up quickly (especially during busy wedding and prom seasons). Even if your dress has not yet arrived, go ahead and reach out to the seamstress recommended by your bridal boutique (you’ll get a goody bag from Loveliest with this information if you purchase with us!) and get on their calendar! This is also a great time to shop for bridal shoes and undergarments, both of which you will need before starting your alterations.

Photo: Big Dreams Photography & Design/The Perfect Fit

2 Months Out

This is typically when you will begin your alterations. Most brides need multiple fittings, scheduled over the course of several weeks with the final fitting often very close to your actual wedding day. Find out when your last fitting will be scheduled and make sure you bring along your MOH or mom to watch (and I recommend videoing on a cell phone) how to bustle your dress, and learn any other tips/tricks for helping you on your wedding day!

Wedding Day

Finally, it is time to wow your spouse and guests with your beautiful gown and soak up the occasion to wear it!

Secrets to Successful Wedding Dress Shopping

I am often asked about cringe worthy moments and bridezillas. Honestly, Loveliest offers a laid back, no pressure atmosphere that discourages drama. This is not your reality TV wedding dress shopping experience. However, there are certainly things that those of us in this business see regularly that make us want to get on our soapboxes, so mic check please! Here are (the first) five secrets to a successful visit!

She said YES to her Loveliest!

1.       Let the bride react first!

I know that most of you reading this are brides yourselves. If not, read secret #1 above. If so, please encourage your guests to listen to your thoughts before they utter theirs. Everyone has their own preferences, senses of style, wedding ideals, etc. that will come through in their reactions. And it is okay for them to give you feedback. After all, that’s why you brought them along. However, most of the time, if a loved one sees your excitement, they will support you in your decision. Similarly, voicing that a dress is not the one for you discourages your guests from building it up, giving you more time to try those that could be “the dress!” Remember, the way you FEEL in a dress is going to show on your actual wedding day, and only you can truly know that feeling. Find the dress that makes you feel like the most beautiful bridal version of yourself and trust your gut!

2.       Bring the yes makers with you (when possible)!

I know secret #1 suggested making your dress decision based on your own feelings, but there are often loved ones whose opinions matter! I wanted my mom and my husband to LOVE my dress! Since my husband couldn’t see it, my mom’s input was incredibly important to me. When she saw my reaction to “the dress” she loved it, simply because she could see that I did. Bring those people with you – the ones who “get you” and recognize when you light up! I have watched brides itching to say yes who feel they can’t without their sister, MIL, MOH, etc. seeing it first. I totally get it! Bring the people whose opinions you MUST have with you to each appointment. Made-to-order dresses can be discontinued, or you may lose out on a limited time discount, pushing a dress over budget. At Loveliest, many of our dresses are available off-the-rack and can sell before you bring your inner circle back. One of the absolute worst parts of my job is telling a bride that a dress she loved is no longer available.

Getting fedback // Credit: A&M Cunningham Photography

3.       Don’t look until you’re ready to commit!

Similar to secret #2, this one refers to your mental and financial readiness. Some of my favorite appointments are those “just looking” visits. Without the pressure of needing to find your dress THAT day, you often enjoy the experience more, listen to your own thoughts, and can react without trying to check boxes off a list of must haves. For that reason, even if you are “just looking” make sure you come with the funds and open mind you need to say YES!

4.       Let the FOMO go!

The fear of missing out seems to have reached an all time high. There are literally millions of wedding dresses out there. There is no way for you to try them all on, just like there is no way to date every potential partner to see if he/she might be better than the one with whom you’ve already fallen in love. If you LOVE a dress and it makes you feel the way I mentioned in secret #1, do not agonize over the decision! I have now had MULTIPLE brides search for several months at endless stores in various cities only to come back to the dress they loved at Loveliest. That does not sound particularly enjoyable for the bride (or for those who need to attend every appointment – see secret #2). Don’t make it harder on yourself than it has to be, which leads us to secret #5…

5.       Have FUN!

Wedding dress shopping fun // Credit: Whitney Jade Photography

Behind the Hair and Makeup

Earlier this week I shared some sneak peeks of the headshots I had taken by my friend and local photographer Whitney Fisher. I don’t think I’ve gotten that many likes and comments since posting my wedding pictures almost three years ago! For someone who focuses on lifting up women daily, I have to admit, it felt really good to be on the receiving end of so many compliments. However, my immediate reaction to feeling proud, pretty (thank you Tori Stewart), and loved was guilt and shame over my vanity.

Y’all, that is ridiculous!

If dressing up, being pampered with professional hair and makeup, and posing in front of a camera for an hour or so leads to a moment captured in time when you felt strong, beautiful, and loved that you can share with your children, spouses, moms, colleagues, and girl squads, DO IT!!!

More importantly, if you can help another woman feel these things by uttering a kind word or posting a fire emoji, DO IT!!!

In a world where we only see what is posted on picture perfect social media, it is easy to forget that we are all struggling with some aspect of our lives. We should seize the opportunities we have to lift one another up and celebrate the sense of pride and empowerment we get from being supported by those dear to us!

Ok, it’s about to get real…

Though I don’t allow negative body talk in the store, I myself worry about not being pretty enough, cool enough, curvy enough, business-savvy enough (thank you ever-changing IG algorithms), a good enough wife, a good enough daughter, and as a self-admitted people pleaser, likeable enough.

The good enough daughter card is probably the hardest to play right now. I lost my dad almost 10 years ago, and I am now finding myself on calls with palliative care doctors regarding my mom’s health, with an overwhelming sense of guilt for not being there in person. As a 32 year old, most of my friends can’t yet relate (nor would I want them to be able to). I feel like a “debbie downer” for being distracted with these stresses even when I don’t utter them aloud.

Even with amazingly supportive friends and family, I can sometimes feel alone.

So…receiving numerous “likes” and comments on a simple post of pretty pictures left me feeling seen, acknowledged, supported, and loved. Those small acts served as reminders of what I already know is true. Ladies, keep it up! The next time you see a noteworthy post from a friend, a colleague, a family member, or even an aquaintance, don’t you dare keep scrolling. No matter how idealistic each of our lives looks from the other side of a computer screen, we all need each other.

No Comparison

We are taught not to compare ourselves to others – not our looks, our incomes, our marriages, our clothes, our childhoods, our jobs, our houses, our parenting. For when we compare, we do so knowing intimately every chapter of our own book of life while viewing only the inside jacket of someone else’s. Obviously the knowledge that we “shouldn’t” do it doesn’t stop us. While we are taught not to compare, we are simultaneously encouraged to learn from others and to strive for greatness. Thus, it is easy to get tangled in the web of comparison when looking to others for direction in our careers, relationships, and lives.

For weddings, events that should be so uniquely personal, the challenge to compare seems to be as great as (if not greater than) any other aspect of our lives. We are now bombarded with images, blogs, and advertisements that lead us to pin until our hearts’ content. Even in writing this blog, I think to myself I’m not giving the people what they want. I am not providing numbered lists like “5 Hottest Dress Designers of the Year” or “7 Ways to Determine the Best Dress for your Shape” or “10 Reasons to Forego the [fill in the blank] at your Wedding” I’m not following the rule of thumb of loading up my page with glamorous, catchy images. I’m not even talking about wedding dresses all that much. But what I am doing…is being me. I want the people who shop with me to know who they will be spending this precious time with before they even step through the door. I am real. I have flaws (obviously). I am silly. I am sappy. I am steadfast. I want to know you. I want to get excited with you! I want to watch you have your “ah-ha” moment. I want to share a little of me with you, so that you are willing to do the same in return.

Most of all, I want you to know that I will not compare your wedding to that of anyone else’s. I find myself now in the position of hearing others discuss their wedding planning processes. I am tempted to dole out advice, because I want to help every bride have a perfect wedding day like I had. Then I remember they don't need my advice on how to display the flatware to have an amazing wedding. Of course our wedding day wasn’t flawless. I didn’t quite DIY enough decorations (thanks goodness our day of coordinator saved the day), we had some mislabeled donut flavors, and I learned after the fact that our biggest failure was running out of beer – very early! But we were surrounded by our friends and family. We danced. We laughed. We kissed. At the end of the evening, we were married. Isn’t that what really matters? When I was engaged, the last thing I wanted to hear was how a friend of friend’s cousin’s daughter-in-law, Betty Sue so-and-so, chose her menu for the big day. Those little things aren’t what make a wedding day special. Love is. I trust that yours is unique with your partner and I hope that all those who surround you recognize that as well. 

Cut Them Some Slack

My aunt forwarded me two photos that an old friend just found and sent to her. They are of my dad when he was 18 and apparently on a trip to Europe with friends – quite the discovery since he would have been 65 now. I thought I had seen all of my parents’ photos and heard all their stories, but these were new. It is so easy to think of parents’ lives beginning at marriage or parenthood, but they were also once children and young adults navigating their own lives, not just preparing us for ours.

When I was shopping for my own wedding dress with my mom, the tears were flowing. I looked at her and told her to get it together. I reminded her that this should be a blissful occasion. I assumed (incorrectly) that she was thinking about my dad and either 1) reminiscing on their marriage that was cut short with his untimely death, or 2) wishing he was here to see his baby girl in a wedding dress. It turns out that by assuming the “worst” – that she was crying sad tears instead of joyful ones – I only brought the unhappy memories to her attention. The seamstress helping us directed my mom to the tissue box and said to me “Your mom is thinking about you as a little girl – maybe 5 or 6 years old – twirling around in a dress and pretending to get married. She can’t believe that this day is here, because that memory feels like it was yesterday to her.” My mom nodded vehemently in agreement, unable to put into her own words exactly what she was thinking.

The seamstress provided her opinion of my mom’s thoughts based on her work over the years with many other moms, aunts, and grandmothers, I’m sure. I projected my own wish for my dad to be there onto my mom. She has been a remarkable mother, so I forget that she has a lifetime of memories, some from before I was alive and before she met my dad. She is a grown woman with her own thoughts, dreams, expectations, plans, and memories. Rather than asking my mom what she was feeling and allowing her response (whatever it may have been) to be okay, I got caught up in wanting it to be my special day and took her moment away from her. We can be so hard on loved ones, and I find that especially true with my oh-so-sweet mama, even when there is absolutely no reason for it.  

So, please do this for me, whether at Loveliest or elsewhere. When you are trying on wedding dresses, twirling about and only thinking of what should be and what’s to come, know that some of the people with you may also be thinking of what once was and may simply be in awe that this day is here. Try to appreciate that whatever their reactions may be, they are with you to rejoice in this milestone of your life. Allow those with you to have their own memorable experience, even when it does not look like what you thought it should. Promise me that, and I promise to have the tissues ready!

Finding Your Dress with commUNITY

Your wedding will be one of the most precious milestones in your life. It is a time to gather those most influential and important in your lives. It is an occasion to celebrate your love along with the love and support you’ve received along your journeys, both as individuals and as a couple. It is an opportunity to expand your family and acknowledge the examples set for you by parents, grandparents, and other loving role models. It is a blessing to be surrounded by your very own community of people special to you.

However, in the midst of your community, don’t lose sight of the other person who you are committing to sharing the rest of your life with – the one who makes this whole big celebration possible in the first place! Every bride is different, but if you are the slightest bit like me, you are excited to see the details of your wedding come together and want to share with those around you. It is tempting to make your whole community of friends and family your sounding board for ideas, opinions, and approval, even with your dress (gasp!).

I had four physical bodies in the room with me during my first dress shopping appointment. I say four physical bodies, because I also had about five more opinions being summoned via text messages and video calls. Technology is something, huh? I LOVE every single person who was weighing in that day, whether in person or on the other end of a phone, and I respect their opinions, but it was incredibly easy to disregard the own voice inside my head and respond to the reactions I saw forming around me with each dress I tried on. 

Martina Liana Gown

In fact, I was this close to going with the BEAUTIFUL, beaded Martina Liana gown pictured above that everyone else liked as much (if not more) than I did. I have about as many curves as a square, so this dress did wonders for me!

What steered me away from this beauty was trying on a much simpler gown (I'll share those pictures soon) that made me think to myself “This is the girl Gavin fell in love with.” Does every bride have that "ah-ha" moment? I can't say for certain, but my advice for having that revelatory feeling is to picture walking towards your love at the other end of the aisle. For this one instance, let the voices of your community fade away and focus on simply the UNITY between you and your future spouse. Does the dress fit your style as a couple? Will you still look like you – only the loveliest version of you? Let me help you find “that” dress!

So You Said Yes…And?

In improvisational comedy, there is a rule of thumb to encourage a collaborative approach. The thought is that you say “yes” to the person with whom you are acting and then contribute to the direction of the outcome by saying “and” with your own added information. Starting a business has felt (only sometimes comically) very much like improvisation for me. I have known for a long time I wanted to start my own business and went through too many ideas to count – just ask my girlfriends or my now husband (eek!) – but when I had my own wedding dress shopping experiences, I knew I had found my niche.

I absolutely LOVED the way each beautiful designer gown made me feel – secure, womanly, glamorous, bridal, beautiful, and special. However, I didn’t love each of my visits equally. I found the task of finding “the dress” somewhat daunting and without the proper guidance felt very ill at ease and sometimes out of place or looked down upon. No bride should ever be made to feel that way for her particular style, level of bridal knowledge, or budget. I mean, for many of us, this is our first time going through this unique process and we are not quite sure what to expect, right? For that reason, I have decided to bring to Knoxville a unique wedding dress shopping experience where brides can try on the oh-so-amazing designer dresses and ultimately purchase them at sample sale prices, all while feeling comfortable and having fun!!

Since deciding to take this journey 10 months ago, I have continued to say “yes, and.” The result is that I have watched this budding dream of mine blossom into reality. This has only been possible with the love and support of those around me, especially my husband (still SO weird to say!). He has decided to say “yes, and” for the past 6+ years of our relationship, encouraging me to continually move forward and turn my ideas into actions. Ultimately, I have found that commitment, whether it be to a profession, a romantic relationship, a friendship, or any other adventure almost always requires a “yes, and” approach, because really, aren’t we all just improvising?

Now that you have said “yes, and” to your soul mate, I would love to help you say “yes” to your dress!